by Spy Gadgets on February 2, 2010
Back on August 28th, a stupid criminal named Jonathan Parker from Pennsylvania broke into a home to steal and make a little burglary profit. He found two rings valued at more than $3,500 and quickly stuck them in his pocket. While still in the home, he saw the victim’s computer and the temptation to log onto his Facebook account was just too irresistible – so he did (and probably played a little FarmTown in the process).
When the homeowner arrived to the residence, she immediately found the signs of a window break-in and called police. She then discovered that the moronic burglar had turned her computer on and had logged into his Facebook account – and had not signed-off (now that’s what you call a “Smooth Criminal
“!).
After his quick arrest, it was later learned that the homeowner and Parker were connected through acquaintances and had even asked some of his friends to go on the burglary with him (and probably posted it to all his friends on Facebook). He still is in police custody and is facing one to ten years prison time the brilliant crime job.
by Spy Gadgets on January 16, 2010
Shoplifting is a skill for some stupid criminals – but for others, it’s a skill that needs a lot of work. Take this moron from South Carolina for example: 51-year-old Mark Zachary of Orangeburg was busted on August 26 of last year for shoplifting from Reid’s Grocery Store. When a store manager approached him about the big bulge under his shirt and a missing $80 New York Strip from the meat department, Zachary turned and ran. As he was sprinting out of the store, he ran right into the grasp of an off-duty police officer.
While Zachary maintains that he is innocent of this charge, this was not his first shoplifting offense (it was his ninth) and he was sentenced to 10 years in prison. Because of the long list of prior shoplifting charges against him, prosecutors said that the sentence was justified. What was his excuse for having the large slab of meat under his shirt? – He said that he was just “massaging the meat, not stealing it”.
by Spy Gadgets on December 30, 2009
The Top Five Stupid Criminals of 2009:
I’ve been writing about stupid criminals for just over a year but I’ve dealt with the morons for over eight as a retail Loss Prevention manager (call me Rent-A-Cop or Paul Blart Mall Cop if you want – I’ve been called worse). While trying to prevent theft in the retail setting - shoplifters and stupid employees are the focus of people like myself. But as you could imagine, that gets boring at times and leads to other hobbies – like collecting stories, videos, and mugshots of stupid criminals.
Since it’s the end of the year, I’ll do what every lame news organization is doing and do a “Best Of 2009″. Most do a “Top Ten” of whatever but I’ll make it easier on your eyes and give you my top five. Since I’m lazy, I didn’t put these in any order (one story better than another) – so you decide your favorite. Here we go:
#5
The Naked Burglar – Larry Ticey
Texas is a big place – big enough for its fair share of stupid criminals. Take this story from Tyler, Texas for example:
When a man returned to his home this past Sunday afternoon, he noticed that his front door had been kicked in. He quickly called the police and when officers arrived they searched the house and quickly located the moron.
Officers first discovered a pile of clothes on the floor and then a very naked Larry Ticey in the bathroom taking a bath. After a short struggle with the police (like wrestling a greased pig), Ticey was arrested and booked into the Smith County Jail. He was jailed on a criminal trespass charge which is punishable for up to one year in prison.
#4
Calvin Hoover – Called 911 Because His Marijuana Was Stolen
21-year-old Calvin Hoover of Salem, Oregon had a big problem (several of them actually) on his hands. First of all, [click to continue…]
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