Police officer

Stupid Criminal Wears Plastic Bag Instead Of Ski Mask

by Spy Gadgets on January 5, 2011

: Image via Wikipedia

Most stupid criminals still have enough cells in their heads to know that it might be a good idea to hide their face during their crooked activities. Some wear a ski mask and some use other cleaver ways to disguise themselves – this moron takes the the stupid crown this week:

Our buddies at ocweekly tell the story of a ineffective robber whose normal dumb behavior was to attempt his bumbling crimes by wearing a see-though plastic bag on his head.

During one of his hold-ups at a Wendy’s drive-thru, the employee just shut the window and walked away after not taking the guy seriously.

Again at another time, the guy tried another unsuccessful “plastic bag on the head” robbery at a Jack-In-The-Box. The police were called and while on the way to the scene of the attempted crime, a police officer spotted the dumb dude (complete with bag on the head) walking into the gas station.

Yes, if your wondering – he got caught this time!

Police charged David Brian Mattson, with 12 attempted robberies and–get this–a single successful one!

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Ski Mask (geektyrant.com)
2nd suspect in NW Houston store robbery still on the run (chron.com)
Hairy Business Ventures – ‘Beardski’ Bearded Ski Masks Would Make ZZ Top Proud (GALLERY) (trendhunter.com)
Woman reports being robbed at Iowa City apartment (thegazette.com)
Fewer plastic shopping bags handed out (cbc.ca)

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Drunk Dad At McDonald’s Tells Kids To Bite Police

by Spy Gadgets on January 30, 2010

Joshua Alger from Colorado Springs, Colorado took his two children to McDonald’s for a happy meal and a little fun in the play area. It was a great day to spend time with the kiddies except for one problem – Dad was too liquored-up to stay conscious and watch the kids play.

The Colorado Springs police were called to take care of the passed-out drunken Daddy and by the time the police got there – he came-to, became violent and had to be subdued with a taser.

During the scuffle, Alger ordered his children to attack the officers and to “bite their faces off” (if the kids were still hungry, I guess he should have ordered the big-kid sized McNuggets).

With a previous arrest warrent for failing to appear in court on a charge of obstructing the police – he now faces charges of second-degree assault on a police officer, resisting arrest, marijuana possession (and of course, the typical charge that all drunk dudes get while being arrested at Micky D’s – public urination in the Ronald McDonald ball pit!).

Joshua Alger Told His Kids To Bite Officers Who Tried To Arrest Him (huffingtonpost.com)
Winnipeg police caught on video beating man (cbc.ca)
… and Ronald McDonald will be there. (timesunion.com)

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Shoplifting Meat

by Spy Gadgets on January 16, 2010

: Image by cackhanded via Flickr

Shoplifting is a skill for some stupid criminals – but for others, it’s a skill that needs a lot of work. Take this moron from South Carolina for example: 51-year-old Mark Zachary of Orangeburg was busted on August 26 of last year for shoplifting from Reid’s Grocery Store. When a store manager approached him about the big bulge under his shirt and a missing $80 New York Strip from the meat department, Zachary turned and ran. As he was sprinting out of the store, he ran right into the grasp of an off-duty police officer.

While Zachary maintains that he is innocent of this charge, this was not his first shoplifting offense (it was his ninth) and he was sentenced to 10 years in prison. Because of the long list of prior shoplifting charges against him, prosecutors said that the sentence was justified. What was his excuse for having the large slab of meat under his shirt? – He said that he was just “massaging the meat, not stealing it”.