Besides the wife eating her children thing, Pearson believes that Dr. [...]]]>

Dr. Drew Pinsky – the host of VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab, has been getting threatening messages over the internet. The stalker, 33-year-old Charles Pearson, threatened to kill Dr. Drew’s children and make his wife eat them (What?  Can you say “nut-job”?).

Besides the wife eating her children thing, Pearson believes that Dr. Drew placed a tracking device in his genitals and went as far as suing Dr. Drew in small claims court for $2,500 for performing “illegal surgery,” “medical malpractice,” and “implant tampering.” He also believes that Dr. Drew is a member of the KKK (yeah – why not?).

Being the extremely bright person that he his, he made his threats then later thought that it was a wise choice to tell the world exactly where he was.  The same day cops started looking for him, he went online and told the world exactly where he was located … down to the very computer he was using.  He posted to his web site and said:  “Todays date March 3, 2010 … 10:41 am sitting at computer 41 at pierce college. a woman with a king jacket sit down next to me.”

Pearson has been booked for felony stalking  and being held on $150,000 bail.

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Three stupid teenagers walked into the movie theater lobby and took a 4 foot tall Simon the Chipmunk.  The plastic [...]]]> Simon, that smart little chipmunk with glasses was stolen – and the whole crime was captured on a security camera.  A movie theater in Gurnee, Illinois (suburb of Chicago) was the scene of the rodent crime.

Three stupid teenagers walked into the movie theater lobby and took a 4 foot tall Simon the Chipmunk.  The plastic figure was part of the theater’s display promoting “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel”.

A surveillance video shows the three teens shoving Simon into a car and taking off.  Their chipmunk-napping of Simon all fell apart after one of the teens was stupid enough to make a comment online about the crime.

Two 18-year-olds and a 16-year-old were busted for this most disturbing criminal act and police ended-up finding Simon, emotionally shaken but still in good spirits – hidden in a basement of one of the young crooks.

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When the driver hesitated, one of the crooks pulled a pistol out and pointed it at [...]]]> Two hungry & stupid criminals approached a 19 year old Domino’s pizza driver while he was making a delivery to a home in Columbus Georgia the other night.  As he was walking-up to the home, the two idiots demanded money.

When the driver hesitated, one of the crooks pulled a pistol out and pointed it at the driver and said, “Give me the wings”.  Fearing for his life, the driver handed-over the food and the morons ran from the scene.

No cash was lost during the robbery and police are on the look-out for a couple of ugly dudes with wing sauce all over their face.

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Over the past [...]]]> A convenience store manager from Missoula, Montana got tired of being robbed by stupid criminals.  Besides the typical “no shoes, no shirt, no service” policy that most stores display at their entrance, store manager Joe Salisbury added a couple more rules to the dress code list – “no hoodies and no ski masks”.

Over the past couple of weeks, Salisbury said that on several occasions, criminals wearing hoodies ran into the store and stole cases of beer – sometimes coming back a couple of times wearing the same sweat shirt (smart).

It was after this that he included the hoodie ban on the sign and since there was extra room, he added “no ski masks” also.  It just might keep the stupid criminals from robbing the place (of course that depends if they can read or not).

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The 28-year-old non-pregnant Jackson received more than $6,000 in financial assistance from several adoption agencies [...]]]> Amber Jackson from Indianapolis, Indiana pretended to be pregnant with twins.  No big deal if she was just shoving a pillow in her shirt to impress her friends – but Jackson was doing it to steal money from prospective adoptive parents.

The 28-year-old non-pregnant Jackson received more than $6,000 in financial assistance from several adoption agencies plus a couple from Laporte Indiana, a couple from Columbus Indiana and from yet another couple from the state of Utah.

Her game fell-apart when it was realized that she had falsified medical records and other documents. She had moved the supposed due date of the twins from January 16 to March 22 and March 30 using three Social Security numbers and five different dates of birth for herself.

Jackson, who has five “real” kids of her own -  was arrested on Friday and charged with three counts of forgery, four counts of theft and three counts of adoption deception and is being held at the Marion County Jail on $100,000 bond.

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Before sheriff’s deputies could catch-up and arrest him, he [...]]]> In Madison Wisconsin, a 24 year old drunk dude from Illinois saw an ambulance sitting in the parking lot at the Tyrol Basin Ski and Snowboard Area at Mount Horeb.  Being the extremely wasted moron that he was, he thought to himself, “Hey look – free ambulance!”

Before sheriff’s deputies could catch-up and arrest him, he jumped into the ambulance and drove around the parking lot several times.

Not only did the ambulance have a patient lying in the back, but it also contained the two paramedics.

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A stupid shoplifter named Chamil Guadarrama liked going to the mall and stealing stupid things. Bath and Body was his favorite store (now I’m convinced – he’s really stupid!) and last Wednesday he was a bit short on lotion and decided to do something about it.

After Guadarrama left the Bath and Body store, mall [...]]]>

A stupid shoplifter named Chamil Guadarrama liked going to the mall and stealing stupid things. Bath and Body was his favorite store (now I’m convinced – he’s really stupid!) and last Wednesday he was a bit short on lotion and decided to do something about it.

After Guadarrama left the Bath and Body store, mall security officers chased him. He was easy to catch-up to because he had stuffed so many eight-ounce bottles of lotion in his pants that he could hardly run.

After he was apprehended – he wasn’t able to bend over to get into the back of the police car (he had 75 bottles of lotion on him). Police had to remove some of the bottles crammed down his pants to make this moron fit.

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